New Baby Sitter - December 3rd, 1967

One Saturday afternoon Mrs. Turk and Aunt Tess wanted to attend a meeting of the school board, but they could not get a baby-sitter. The Old Soldier with a wooden leg, who is fond of children, was busy in the Teenie Weenie workshop and Gogo was helping the Cook.

"Nipper is getting old enough to look after Zero and Judy," suggested Mrs. Turk. "We won't be gone long and, the responsibility will be good for him."

"Probably," said Aunt Tess doubtfully, "unless he gets too interested in his play to think of them."

Giving Nipper much advice on the care of the younger children, the two women left for the meeting at the school house. After a short time at the meeting, Aunt Tess decided she would go home and see how the children were getting along. When she opened the front door at the coffee pot house where the Turks live, she found the living room in disorder. "Well!" she said, "looks as though a cyclone has hit the place."

"It's her," wailed Nipper, pointing towards Judy, who was in a desperate struggle with Zero over a candlestick one of them had taken from the table. "She gets into things faster than I can stop her. She upset a thimbleful of water, and while I was looking for a mop to clean it up, she pulled the tablecloth off."

Judy let go of the candlestick and Zero gave it to Aunt Tess.

"I tried to get Judy to play ball, but she is always changing her mind and wants to do some thing else," Nipper complained. "I had an awful time trying to keep her from eating a candle. The reason the firewood is scattered all around is because I had to let her drag it out of the wood box to keep her quiet."

"Nipper, it seems to me that you have been trying to handle a stick of dynamite," said Aunt Tess. "Now I'll take the baby upstairs and put her to sleep while you boys pick up things. When I come down, we'll put the room in good shape before your mother comes home."

Mrs. Turk was delighted to find her house spick and span and her boys in good humor when she returned from the meeting.

"Now we won't have to bother getting a baby-sitter any more," she told Aunt Tess.

Aunt Tess kept quiet, but she resolved to be on watch when Nipper is the baby-sitter.

Halloween - November 3rd, 1968

"I heard an owl last night," said Mrs. Turk anxiously, "and I don't think it's a very good idea for the children to be out playing trick or treat this year.

"We could have a nice party right here," she told Aunt Tess, "and invite the four little Respectable mice."

"That's a good plan," replied Aunt Tess. "It might even help those little mice to pick up some manners. I'm sure the Lady of Fashion will help us and I'll bake a cake."

"We could serve them grape juice and they'd have just as nice a time here as they would outdoors, especially with that owl flying around."

"The Respectable mice don't like grape juice," Mrs. Turk reminded Aunt Tess. "They like warm water with plenty of honey in it."

So after supper on Halloween night, the Teenie Weenie women pulled the table out in the center of the room on the first floor of the coffee pot.

They set it with drinking cups and cake plates and candles, and when the four little mice arrived they were seated with the three Turk children for the party.

Just as the women were about to serve the cake there was a loud knock on the door of the coffee pot. Aunt Tess called out, "Come in," and a great head appeared in the doorway and bellowed, "Trick or treat!"

The Turk children burst into tears and the four little mice crawled under the table and hid.

Then somebody realized that the uninvited guest was really Ginky, covered with a dirty rag that had holes cut in it to enable the mouse to see.

"Get out of here!" shouted the Policeman, who had dropped in hoping for a bite of Aunt Tess' cake.

"This is Halloween," said the Lady of Fashion. "Ginky has a right to celebrate too," and she handed him a piece of the cake.

Ginky thanked her politely, the Turk children stopped crying and the four little Respectable mice came out from under the table to play games until it grew quite late and the Policeman escorted them home.

When he returned to the coffee pot house a little later in the evening, the Policeman told Mrs. Turk that he had neither heard nor seen an owl who had made the Teenie Weenies move their Halloween party indoors in the first place.

A Teenie Weenie Mermaid - August 17th, 1969

"I wish we could get rid of that swimming pool," Mrs. Turk told her husband. "Three times Judy has run away and once I found her climbing the steps up to the diving board. I'm afraid she will fall in and drown."

"She should be taught how to swim," answered Mr. Turk. "If one knows how to swim, there is less danger."

"But Judy wouldn't have a chance in that big sauce-dish pool," argued Mrs. Turk. "It fills me with horror every time I think of that pool."

"Every child should be taught to swim," put in Aunt Tess. "One never knows when one may fall into deep water and a bit of paddling might save one's life."

"I saw a jar top at the dump yesterday and I can bring it down here, fill it with water, and teach Judy to swim in it," said Mr. Turk.

"That will simply increase her desire to get into that pool," cried Mrs. Turk. "I'm against teaching the child to swim."

After much persuasive argument by Aunt Tess and the Lady of Fashion, Mrs. Turk finally agreed to let Judy be taught to swim if the jar top was not too big.

Mr. Turk and several of the Teenie Weenie men brought the mason jar top to the coffee pot and filled it with water.

"That's too much water," protested Mrs. Turk. "Judy could drown in that."

"There's only half-an-inch of water in it," argued Mr. Turk. "There must be enough water in the jar lid to float the swimmer."

Most of the Teenie Weenies gathered to see Judy's first swimming lesson, and to their surprise, the child learned very fast. In a short time Judy was swimming across the jar top without help. After a week of practice, she was swimming like a minnow.

"Now," Mr. Turk said, "if Judy falls into our big swimming pool, she can swim to the ladder hanging from the diving platform and crawl out."

The Dunce Plays A Joke - 1918

The weather had been bitter cold for several days, and most of the Teenie Weenies were mighty glad, for the pond near the big fence was frozen solid. All the little folks who had skates spent their spare time on the ice. Those who had no skates kept the Dutchman busy night and day making them, for that fat little chap was wonderfully clever in such things.

The Dutchman made the skate runners out of pins, which he heated in his forge, and hammered them out on his tiny anvil. He fastened the runners to a block of wood which was cut out in the shape of a shoe sole. In three days the Old Soldier, who whittled out the soles for the Dutchman, cut up four matches and the Dutch man hammered ten pins into skate runners.

When their work was done for the day the little people would hurry to the pond, where they would build a huge fire, and then they would skate until some were so tired they could scarcely walk home.

"Say, Chuck," whispered the Dunce into the Chinaman's ear one afternoon as the two Teenie Weenies stood warming themselves before the bonfire, "I g-g-g-got an idea f-f-f-or a lot of fun, and if you'll help me I'll let you in on it."

"Allee same me likie flun," answered the Chinaman. "Me belly muchie much like to help."

"Well, here's the scheme," said the Dunce, looking cautiously about. "I got four grains of popcorn in my pockets, and when there's a crowd around the fire we can drop them in the hot coals and then hide over there behind that bush and wait for the fun."

"Alleite," agreed the Chinaman, and the two Teenie Weenies sat down on a log near the fire to await a good opportunity to toss the corn into the coals.

Presently a number of the Teenie Weenies gathered about the fire, and when they were busy talking the two little chaps dropped the corn into the hot coals and quickly sneaked off behind a bush near by.

In a few seconds the first grain popped with a great bang, followed immediately by two more loud reports. A huge cloud of ashes and sparks flew out of the fire, and with the loud reports of the popping corn the Teenie Weenies were scared half out of their wits.

"The Poet, who was sitting on a log, had his hat blown off and was tumbled back into the snow on his head. Fortunately, no one was hurt, but everybody gathered about the fire was badly scared.

There is nothing more to say except that that the Dunce and the Chinaman were taken home by the Policeman and sent to bed with out a bite of supper.

"Ah, j-j-j-jimminie f-f-f-fish hooks," whimpered the Dunce as he was told to climb into bed without any supper. "J-j-j-just m-m-my luck, t-t-too, when we were going to have a stuffed raisin for dessert.

The Teenie Weenies Under the Rose-Bush – (1922)
Chapter 28 - The Dunce and the Chinaman Play a Joke

The weather had been bitter cold for several days, and most of the Teenie Weenies were mighty glad, for the pond near the big fence was frozen solid. All the little folks who had skates spent their spare time on the ice. Those who had no skates kept the Old Soldier busy night and day making them, for that little chap was wonderfully clever in such things.

The Old Soldier made the skate runners out of pins, which he heated in his forge, then hammered them out on his tiny anvil. He fastened the runners to a block of wood which was cut out in the shape of a shoe sole. In three days the Turk, who whittled out the soles for the Old Soldier, cut up four matches and the Old Soldier hammered ten pins into skate runners.

When their work was done for the day the little people would hurry to the pond, where they would build a huge fire, and then they would skate until some were so tired they could scarcely walk home.

"Say, Chuck," whispered the Dunce into the Chinaman's ear one afternoon as the two Teenie Weenies stood warming themselves before the bonfire, "I g-g-g-got an idea f-f-f-for a lot of fun, and if you'll help me I'll let you in on it."

"Allee same me likie flun," answered the Chinaman. "Me belly muchie much like to help."

"Well, here's the scheme," said the Dunce, looking cautiously about. "I've got four grains of popcorn in my pockets, and when there's a crowd around the fire we can drop them in the hot coals and then hide over there behind that bush and wait for the fun."

"Allee light," agreed the Chinaman. And the two Teenie Weenies sat down on a log near the fire to await a good opportunity to toss the corn into the coals.

Presently a number of the Teenie Weenies gathered about the fire, and when they were busy talking the two little chaps dropped the corn into the hot coals and quickly sneaked off behind a bush near by.

In a few seconds the first grain popped with a great bang, followed immediately by two more loud reports. A huge cloud of ashes and sparks flew out of the fire, and with the loud reports of the popping corn the Teenie Weenies were scared half out of their wits.

The Poet, who was sitting on a log, had his hat blown off and was tumbled back into the snow on his head. Fortunately, no one was hurt, but everybody gathered about the fire was badly scared.

"I think the Dunce and the Chinaman know some thing about this," cried the General, glancing at the two Teenie Weenies, who were giggling behind the trunk of the bush. "Mr. Policeman, bring them here and we'll soon find out."

The Policeman quickly brought the Dunce and the Chinaman before the General, where they soon confessed that they had thrown the corn into the fire.

"That was a most vicious thing to do," said the General severely. "Don't you know that if one of those popping grains of corn had hit some of us on the head we might have been badly hurt?"

"N-n-n-no, s-s-sir, y-y-yes, s-s-sir," answered the frightened Dunce. "We n-n-never thought it would hurt anyone. We j-j-just thought it would s-s-s-scare ‘em."

"Well, you fellows ought to have a little time to think over the matter, so you can go to bed without your supper," said the General.

The Policeman took the two little fellows by the arms and led them off to the shoe house, where the Dunce was put to bed, while the Chinaman was sent off to the old teapot, where he lived.

"J-j-jinks!" exclaimed the Dunce as he crawled into his tiny bed. "Just my luck, when we were goin' to have fried frog ham and baked stuffed raisin for supper. Oh, crickety!" and the tears came into the poor little fellow's eyes.

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Dunce Sneaks Popcorn Into The Camp Fire - February 11th, 1934

A Bad Joke – January 21st, 1945

It had been cold during the last week and the Teenie Weenies were having fine skating. They had found a tiny pond near the Teenie Weenie village and it was covered with smooth hard ice. It was in the middle of a dense thicket of tall weeds where big people were not likely to go. The little people spent most o their time skating there for Teenie Weenies have a great deal of time on their hands during the winter.

Most of the Teenie Weenies would gather at the pond just as soon as their daily tasks were done. They would build a big fire out of weeds and twigs where they could warm their Teenie Weenie toes and fingers. They played games of all sorts and sometimes Nick the squirrel would let the little people catch onto his long tail and he would pull them around the pond. The Turk and the Old Soldier had made Teenie Weenie skates for all the little people. They had hammered runners out of pins which were then fastened to wooden soles that had been carved from burned matches and these could be securely bound onto Teen Weenie feet.

The Cook often brought an acorn basket filled with Teenie Weenie doughnuts and sandwiches to the pond and the little folks would eat their lunch there. They had lots of fun and sometimes they tumbled and bumped their Teenie Weenie heads but no one was really hurt. One day, tho, the Dunce played a thoughtless joke that might have been very serious. He stuffed two grains of popcorn into a hollow reed which had been dragged up to be used for firewood. The Policeman threw the reed onto the fire and when the grains of popcorn grew hot they exploded with a loud bang. The two grains popped at almost the same instant, scattering hot coals and bits of burning firewood all about the place. One grain of corn popped right at the Police man, hitting that plump little chap right in the tummy. It tumbled him over and completely knocked the breath out of him. The General fell off the stick on which he had been sitting and upset the basket of sandwiches and doughnuts.

The General was terribly angry. He knew the Dunce had put the corn into the fire for he had done that very thing once before, and besides, the Dunce was the only Teenie Weenie that laughed over the accident. The General sent the Dunce home to bed for the rest of the day, ordered that he should have no dessert for a week, that his skates should be taken away from him, and that he should stay away from the pond for two weeks.

Poppy Fluffs – January 8th, 1956

The Dunce makes a lot of trouble for the Teenie Weenie Cook. He really doesn't mean to be troublesome but he just can't keep out of mischief, especially when he is hungry, and he's usually hungry. The Cook has to keep all cookies and doughnuts under lock and key, especially poppy fluffs.

Poppy fluffs are a great favorite with the Dunce and the Lady of Fashion makes them particularly good. The fluffs are made from two or three grains of popped corn. The white fluffy part of the popped corn is scraped off, mixed with grated hickory nut meat and finely chopped, dried service berries. A grain or two of salt is added along with maple sugar. The dough is rolled out and cut into cookie shapes, sprinkled lightly with powdered black walnut meat, and baked quickly in a hot oven.

The Lady of Fashion usually bakes the fluffs when the Dunce is not around to bother her, and one morning when the Dunce announced that he was ‘going down to the creek she decided to bake some fluffs. The Cook brought three grains of popcorn from cellar but the Lady of Fashion thought that two popped grains would be enough to make cookies. The Cook laid one of the grains of corn on the kitchen table and popped the other two grains. The Lady of Fashion scraped off the soft white part of the corn, mixed her dough and cut out the cookies which she put into two Teenie Weenie baking pans. While she waited for the stove to get hot she left the kitchen. The Cook had gone down to the cellar to get a piece of potato for lunch when the Dunce came along.

The Dunce went into the kitchen to warm his fingers and toes for the weather was very cold outdoors, He spied the grain of unpopped corn on the table and he promptly decided to pop it in the oven. While he was waiting for the corn to pop the Lady of Fashion came into the kitchen just as the Cook came up from the cellar. At that moment the corn popped with a loud bang. It blew off the stove oven door, knocked over one of the pans of unbaked cookies, and upset a pan of water on the stove which made a great cloud of steam and completely put out the stove fire.

Both the Cook and the Lady of Fashion gave the Dunce a good scolding, and it is quite needless to say that the Dunce never got a single taste of that batch of poppy fluff.