The Dunce Falls Into A Cup Of Coffee - May 18th, 1941

The Teenie Weenies are such a very small people that one of the little men could dive into a glass of water and have plenty of space to swim about. One raisin supplies a dessert for the entire tribe, and one olive would last for several days.

The Teenie Weenies live under a certain rose bush. There they have made a man’s shoe into a cozy little house. Being so small, they try to keep out of the big people’s way, but they do love to see what the big people do, so they often visit their houses when the occupants are away.

One Sunday morning several of the little folk decided to go for a walk. Presently it began to rain and that was most dangerous for such small people. One drop of rain would knock a Teenie Weenie completely off his feet, if it should hit him. So they all ran toward a big house for shelter. They crawled through the crack under a door and found themselves in a kitchen.

The little folk amused themselves for some time, wandering about the place. The Dunce, who is a very curious little fellow, climbed up onto a table. Then he shouted for the rest to come up. The Teenie Weenies are good climbers, and soon they scrambled to the top of the table.

The Dunce and the Cook climbed up onto a cup, which stood on the table. They began racing each other about the edge of the cup, which was nearly filled with coffee. Suddenly the Dunce slipped and fell, with a great splash. The Dunce is a good swimmer, even in coffee, and he quickly climbed up a spoon and dropped to the table. He was dripping with coffee, but the laughing Teenie Weenies dried him off by rolling him in a paper napkin which they found on the table.

The General, who is head of the Teenie Weenie family, ordered the Policeman to take the Dunce home. "Make him take a bath and send him to bed until supper time," said the General.

"S-s-say!" sputtered the Dunce. "I didn't hurt the coffee!"

"Do you suppose anyone wants to drink that coffee after you have been wallowing around in it?" asked the General.

The Policeman went off with the protesting Dunce while the rest of the Teenie Weenies set to work penciling, in huge letters, a note on a piece of paper napkin. When the note was done, the little folk fastened it to the handle of the spoon, and this is what it said:

"Don't drink this coffee. Someone fell into it."

A Hungry Rabbit - May 25th, 1941

"General!" said the Teenie Weenie Cowboy. "There's a rabbit over on the next street that's hungry. The boy who owns him has gone on a visit."

"We've got to feed him," said the General. "We can't let a neighbor starve."

"I know where there is a carrot!" cried the Dunce, "Some big folks threw it out this morning. It's a big one, too."

The Dunce led the Teenie Weenies to the spot where the carrot lay, and the little men began dragging it to the rabbit's house.

There was a board nailed to the front of the rabbit's house. So the Teenie Weenies were forced to boost the carrot over that board, which was 20 Teenie Weenie feet above the ground. That is only 5 inches in our measurement, but to the Teenie Weenies it was a great distance to lift such a heavy thing as a carrot.

The Old Soldier with the wooden leg brought along some string which he tied around the top of the carrot. With some pushing and others pulling, the little men finally managed to get the carrot into the rabbit's house.

The poor rabbit was nearly starved, and he began eating and trying to thank the Teenie Weenies at one and the same time.

"I don't think it is polite to try to talk with your mouth full of food," the Dunce said to the Turk.

"Of course it isn't polite," said the Turk; "but you've got to remember that the rabbit is terribly hungry and that excuses him in this case."

"Well, I've seen you talk with your mouth full of food," said the Cook, pointing toward the Dunce. "Only yesterday you asked me for another doughnut while you had your mouth full of the one I had given you a moment before."

"Well, I was hungry, too!" cried the Dunce.

"You're always hungry," laughed the Cook. "Especially for doughnuts. I believe you could eat a thimbleful of doughnuts and still be hungry."

The boy who owned the rabbit came home the next day, and it was not necessary for the Teenie Weenies to feed the rabbit again.

"I'm glad that boy came home," said the Teenie Weenie Sailor. "I strained my back lifting that carrot, and I don't want to lift any more until my back gets better."

The Water Was Fine, But— - 1919

Along about midnight one dark, windy night, the Teenie Weenies were all awakened by a most unusual sound. There was loud crackling and the old shoe house shook from toe to heel.

"It's an earthq-q-quake!" shouted the Dunce, sitting up in his tiny bed with eyes as big as coffee beans.

"Ah, keep quiet and let a fellow sleep," growled the Turk. "It's nothing but a newspaper that has blown against the house."

The Turk had guessed right, for the next morning the Teenie Weenies found an old newspaper jammed up against the front porch.

The General ordered the Dunce, Gogo and Zip to remove the paper, to cut it up into small pieces, and burn it. The three little chaps went to work and they labored all morning tearing the big paper away and burning it. By lunch time the work was done and the three Teenie Weenies were told that they could spend the rest of the day to suit themselves.

"Let's go over to the big brown house and see if we can find somethin' good to eat," suggested the Dunce.

""Ah, you all the time wantin' somethin' to eat," answered Gogo, who was much disgusted with the Dunce's suggestion, for the little fellows had just left the Teenie Weenie dinner table.

"It much too hot today. Me all baked dry. Let's go bathe in creek," said Zip, fanning himself with a rose petal.

"Oh, j-j-j-jimminie fish hooks," exploded the Dunce ‘We can't go in the water for an hour for we just had dinner and you're liable to get cramps if you go in swimmin' too soon after eatin'."

"Well, we all can just kind of stroll down to the creek, kinda slow like and then we can all sit down and rest a little and then it will be about time to go in the water," put in Gogo.

Zip and the Dunce considered Gogo's plan a good one, so the three Teenie Weenies slowly made their way to the creek, where they lay down under the cool shade of a great fern.

"How we all going to know when it has been an hour since we had our dinner?" asked the Dunce.

"Well, we all can count five hundred, kinda slow like, and then it will be about time for us to go in the water," answered Gogo.

"Well, we all can count five hundred, kinda slow like, and then it will be about time for us to go in the water," answered Gogo.After the three Teenie Weenies had counted five hundred, they threw off their clothes, piled them on a big stone, and jumped into the cool water. The little fellows splashed about in the water for some time and they never suspected that a very mischievous yellow eye was, watching them from the boughs of a nearby brush. The yellow eye belonged to a big purple crackle and he never lost a chance to make trouble for the Teenie Weenies.

Suddenly he flew down to the bank of the stream and before the little swimmers could get to the bank he caught up their clothes in his black bill and jumped onto an old tree branch.

"Well, goodbye, folks," laughed the bird. "A pleasant journey home," and spreading his wings he flew into the air, and disappeared over the tree tops with the Teenie Weenie's clothes.

The bird had taken all the clothes belonging to the Teenie Weenies except their shoes and stockings and hats, and Zip's shirt. The three Teenie Weenies couldn't go home without any clothes, so they were forced to wrap leaves about their bodies and in this manner they reached the shoe house. All the Teenie Weenies considered it a good bit of fun, but Zip, Gogo, and the Dunce could never see the joke.

The Women Lose Their Clothes While Swimming - September 14th, 1924

"Oh dear me I do wish we had our bathing suits along," said the Lady of Fashion. "I'm so hot I'm afraid my clothes will catch fire."

Three of the Teenie Weenie women had gone for a walk and they had found the day quite sultry, so they had stopped in a cool spot beside the creek to rest.

"I don't see why we can't go in without bathing suits. No one will come along here in a frog's age," suggested Tess Guff.

Both Mrs. Lover, and the Lady of Fashion looked shocked at the suggestion—but it was such a hot day, so they timidly peeled off their tiny clothes.

With many suppressed shrieks and squeals, the little women soon became accustomed to the cool water and they paddled about like tiny mermaids.

A busy Lady Bug paused a moment in her flight to view the pretty sight and a lazy frog, across the creek, dozed with one eye on the bathers.

"Suppose some one should come along and discover us," nervously suggested the Lady of Fashion.

"It's just as easy to suppose some one doesn't discover us, and that's what I am going to suppose," answered Tess, and she dived down into the blue green water.

While the little ladies were enjoying themselves in water, an old squirrel happened along. She was looking for thistledown and lacy bark with which to repair her nest, and when she spied the Teenie Weenie clothes on the shore she quickly gathered them up in her claws and scampered off. The horrified Teenie Weenies saw the squirrel run up a huge tree and disappear into a hollow limb.

"Oh dear me, what will we do?" cried the Lady of Fashion as she crawled up the bank "What will we wear home?"

"Well, there are plenty of leaves around and we won't be the first women to wear them," answered Tess.

All their clothes were gone but their shoes, so the little women tried to wrap them selves in leaves, but the leaves were so rough, and scratched their tender skin so badly, they were forced to give up the idea.

At last they discovered a small paper box and Tess had a brilliant idea. She pounded three holes in the top of the box with a sharp stone. Then the three little women lifted the box in the air, got under it, let it down and popped their heads through the holes.

"It's lucky we found this closed body instead of touring car," said Tess, when the box was in place. "Home, James."

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Teenie Weenie Clothes Are Taken While Skinny Dipping - July 1st, 1934

First Swim – May 10th, 1942

The Teenie Weenies had seen nothing of Ginky since his fight with the Dunce. But the little people knew that the mouse had been around the shoe house, for they found where Ginky had upset the rainwater thimble under the spout near the kitchen door. One morning they found that the Teenie, Weenie garbage pail had disappeared from the back porch and they discovered it hanging among the topmost branches of a blackberry bush. Mouse tracks under the bush plainly told that Ginky was the guilty mouse.

Tilly Titter, the sparrow, told the Teenie Weenies that she had it straight from a chipmunk, who heard it from a house wren that Ginky had told a blue jay that he would get even with the Teenie Weenies for putting him out of the dance on the night of the Teenie Weenies' big party It was reported that he was especially angry at the Dunce, and that he would give the Dunce a good thrashing if he ever caught that Teenie Weenie alone.

"That's pretty big talk," said the General, "and I don't want any more of it. There will be no fighting around here; and I want you to remember that."

Nothing more was heard about Ginky. Then one day he appeared, much to the embarrassment of four prominent Teenie Weenies. The Dunce, Gogo, the Cook and the Cowboy had gone to the creek in search of meat. The Teenie Weenie winter supply of smoked frog was almost gone and the little men hoped to get some fresh meat. Although they hunted for several hours they did not see a single frog.

"Say!" exclaimed the Dunce, mopping his round head with a Teenie Weenie handkerchief that was about as big as a postage stamp. "Let's go in for a swim."

"That's a fine idea," said the Cowboy, and he began to pull off his clothes. The rest of the Teenie Weenies quickly undressed and hung their tiny garments on the leaves of a plantain which stood on the shore of the creek. They all plunged into the cool water and paddled about with the ease of minnows. Presently the little swimmers heard a squeaking laugh from the shore. There was Ginky in the act of gathering up their clothes. They shouted at the mouse and made for the shore. But before they could climb the bank, the mouse has disappeared into some tall grass with most of their clothing.

In his haste Ginky had overlooked a few things. The Cowboy's boots had been overlooked and so had one of the Dunce's shoes. They found one of Gogo's stockings and then the Cowboy caught sight of his hat, halfway up the bank where Ginky had dropped it.

"We'll have to stay here until night and then sneak home in the dark," said the Cook.

"I'm going to get a shirt from that tree," said the Cowboy, and grasping a small leaf that hung from a low-growing bush, he pulled it off and wrapped it around his plumb little body. The other Teenie Weenies gathered leaves and when they had wrapped themselves they all set off for home.

They had only gone a short distance when a friendly chipmunk informed them that Ginky had hidden their clothes under some wintergreen leaves nearby. The chipmunk showed them the place and there they found their clothes. Everything was there except Gogo's other stocking.

"That wasn't losin' much," the little colored fellow said, "fo' it was mostly a hole in de toe."